Marriage Help for Relational Insecurity
Security in a relationship is the foundation of a healthy relationship. In fact, it is usually a breach in security (actual or perceived), that leads to disconnection. Sometimes we may not even fully recognize that it is the security in our relationship that has weakened causing a lack of communication, not feeling seen or heard, or no longer feeling connected in the relationship. So you might be asking… how do you know if there is insecurity in your relationship? And what can you do to build security in your relationship? Read on to answer these questions and start improving your relationship today.
What Does it Mean to Co-regulate?
Simply defined, co-regulation is turning to another person for support. Typically this person is someone we can count on or that you can trust to care for you. The gift of co-regulation begins at birth and goes with us to the grave. From the moment a baby is born it immediately relies on the mother to feel calm and cared for. The warmth of her skin, the sound of her voice, even her smell will calm a stimulated newborn. Babies rely on this innately no one has to tell a baby to turn to the mother to feel calmer if the mother is accessible the baby will rely on her.
Why Couples Fight and How to Make it STOP!
Most couples can probably name a time or two, or twenty, that they had a fight that by the end didn’t make sense. What I mean is what started out as the dishwasher needing unloaded, what to watch on TV, or unattended socks on the floor somehow turned into a screaming match. What get couples into heated conflict but most of the time begins with what should be a simple interaction?? Enter, “the cycle.” The “cycle” is the predictable interactions between a couple that are rooted in attachment fears and pushed by relational methods of adaptation that are more suited for survival rather than connection.
Regenerating a Relationship
People often wonder if there is a "point of no return" for relationships. The honest answer is likely yes. We all have different capacities and histories that impact our ability to make a comeback from relational hurts. That being said, relationships that feel dead can have life again. As human beings we are wired to respond to emotional provocation and we are wired to keep others close. It is important to remember that relationships that feel lifeless got that way over time and it will take time to rebuild. Allowing each other the time and space to heal is critical to putting pieces back together, but it most certainly can be done. So what does healing look like?