Questions to Ask Before Getting Married
Questions to Ask Before Getting Married:
What was your biggest hurt growing up? Sharing about each other’s wounds from childhood gives each other insight on how to care about each other emotionally and be aware of what may be a trigger for each other. It also gives you the opportunity to notice what it’s like to talk about and experience vulnerability.
When you are hurting, what do you need from me? Being attentive, responsive, and engaged is key to a healthy marriage. Talking about what this looks like before a hard situation comes up keeps from expectations that might lead to disappointment. In fact this question should be an ongoing conversation.
What does a healthy relationship look like to you? Prioritizing your relationship should be a goal but they may look different for different people. It’s important to be on the same page as to what each of you need from the relationship.
What is important to you as a person in life? Understanding what each of you will value in your personal lives and as a couple is important. What does work, kids, travel, home, hobbies etc. look like for each of you?
How will we celebrate as a couple? Joy should be the biggest part of your relationship. Talk about what it looks like to celebrate, relax, connect, and experience the best of life.
How do you take care of you? You will want to know that the person you are going to marry is self-aware and knows what and when they need to be attentive to their own mental and emotional needs. You cannot fix each others so it is important to know that you each value growth and attention to your internal world.
What is your relationship with the Lord like and how will we honor the Lord in our marriage and family? If you are not on the same page spiritually you won’t be when you get married. Do not kid yourself or believe any lie that would cause you to be passive on this question. A couple in two different places spiritually will have tension and conflict.
What kind of parent do you desire to be? What will be the character traits and values you want to teach your children? Parenting is one of the ways you will co-create with God. You need a good partner for this task, and you need to now that you and that partner are on the same page. Talking about the kind of family that you want to have is important.
