An Unlikely Marriage Coach

I read an Instagram post several years ago that stated, “Your calling will crush you…” It shared specific callings and the trials that might come with them, that the one called might experience as a result of the calling, in order for it to be authentic. When I read it I thought it powerful and then a few years later I walked through it and the words held new meaning as I could feel in my body what it meant to be, “crushed,” emotionally, mentally, and relationally.

I am a Christian Marriage Coach who is divorced. It is only by the grace of God that I write those words without shriveling up into a ball of shame. I wish I could tell a story of marriage restoration it was what I longed for. Instead, even more shocking I will tell you that the divorce was his mercy towards me. It was the coldest day of the year on the day I walked out of the house with my 3 kids never to return, after 14 years with a spouse who couldn’t get control over his addictions and as a result spewed emotional and mental abuse at me and my children with increase every year. I walked away not believing I could ever be used in the realm of marriage restoration because mine had failed. 

I was a marriage counselor, I knew what marriage was supposed to look like I watched client after client come through my office and work through struggles and grow close and connected marriages. It highlighted even more for me the lies that kept me bound. I can tell you first hand the horrific experience that a divorce is. It is nothing short of a hell on earth. The binding that God designed marriage to be does not break apart easily even when abuse is part of the story. We are designed for relationship and closeness to others and marriage is the epitome of representation of the important relationships. To be at it’s best it requires us to be self-sacrificial, vulnerable, safe, and caring. 

Why is it so hard then?? Because we have a brain designed to priortize emotional and physical safety. It is only life in Christ that anchors us enough to be able override that. And even then it is a muscle that must be exercised. Do not misread this I am not saying that if you struggle in your marriage it is because you are not anchored in Christ. WHat I am saying is that it is hard. Especially when there are wounds, or past experiences that were painful, or fear about the whether the person you are bound to will hold up their end of the bargain. 

So here I am crushed by marriage, standing before you, a place I never knew God could use me in again, ready to help you restore your marriage. The banner I carry I lift all the more higher because of what I have been through. The fight and passion in my heart for marriage has been plunged with intensity. The symbolic oil of my anointing cost me, to make me more able and equipped to guide my clients. 

It also has changed the way I work with clients. After working with so many couples there were holes in the traditional approaches of marriage work and with the refresh of this new season I am in I aim to correct them. With approaches and methods that help the survival systems of the brain make modifications quicker and deeper, increase commitment, and require personal responsibility. Your brain already knows how to cultivate a relationship, we know this because we are image bearers of a God that loves relationships.

Your marriage is a ministry to you spouse, your family, and a community. Let me show you how to treat it that way. I can help you out of marriage distress no matter how long you have been it and no matter what you have experienced. Schedule your free consult today.